The Object of My Child's Affection

Every parent's had it happen to them; you are running late, and your child is holding you up by looking for his favorite teddy. Or maybe your eight month old won't stop screaming in her cradle because her binkie is no where to be found. As parents you know how debilitating a comfort item can be. On the other hand, to your toddler the need for his old, worn out teddy bear is what seems frustrating. Really, comfort objects are exactly what they sound like, and are a necessary, healthy part of growing up.

By the time most children reach the age of 1, they've already found a comfort or security item they keep with them always. For children under age one, the child's own thumb or even a pacifier will often work quite nicely to comfort and soothe them during a time of need. As your little one matures to toddler age, they frequently look for something more physically satisfying such as the previously mentioned blankie or stuffed animal. Many believe that texture is partly responsible for the soothing effect they've got on little ones. A toddler will usually stroke a teddy bear or rub a blanket on their arm or face for comfort.

An additional security feature a child could discover with comfort items is the fact that it reminds them of you as their parent. Rubbing the blanket's material on your child's cheek may remind him or her of your clothing or skin while you cradle or hug them. Or perhaps the blanket has always been part of their sleep routine you developed with your child. Again, the association of you calming your little one or making him or her feel secure is what prompts the attachment to these supposedly inanimate objects. From time to time a child will make a comfort item out of less common objects. It could be just about anything from a sock to a hard toy. While the attachment is not always as obvious, there is usually an emotional connection the child has made to receive comfort from the object.

However difficult it is to deal with your child's consistent urgency for their toy or blanket, it is very important to know that this stage of childhood is both healthy and essential. The world can be terrifying to little ones, particularly as they reach their first birthday. It's during this time that children will start to suffer from separation anxiety just as they're more likely to become separated from you via a babysitter, nursery school, or even of their own free will as they are exploring the world around them. Through a comfort item, your child is learning a way to comfort himself when you are not available for them or as they begin to become independant. Consider it as a temporary brace to lift them through this period in their lives.

It won't be until around age 3 that she or he begins to control and regulate their own emotions and don't need to rely on an object of comfort for security and comfort, according to Jane Kostelc, a child-development consultant. It is also at this age that carrying around a shabby blanket might seem less socially acceptable among their friends and peers. Who knew our children had to worry about peer pressure at such a young age? At any rate, it is probably better for the parent to accept this part of your child's life as the experience that it is. When you do so you'll help their development and growth. Certainly something that is worth your temporary frustration.